Archive for March, 2006

It approaches

Moving day approaches. Tomorrow, in fact. I’m all packed. Even my desk is dismantled, and computer separated into it’s component parts. (Wah!) I’m sleeping in the lounge, with all my boxes, as my uncle and cousin are here tonight to move me tomorrow.

My other uncle is coming up to send me off tomorrow, too. And bringing me a TV, which is very nice. (Free Stuff Good.)

So, things are quietly trundling along. I’m tidying up at work, so that Webmistress won’t be buried under a deluge of random stuff when she returns on Monday. And I’m very, very chuffed with my (soon to be ex) coworkers. They clubbed together and bought me some leaving presents.

  • A $50 voucher to my favourite clothing store.
  • $50 cash.
  • A 40gig external hard drive.

My. Coworkers. Rock.

So. I’ll be offline for a bit – there’s phone at the flat, but no ‘net connection yet. Wish me luck!

People skills

My people skills have never been brilliant. It’s something I’m working on. Or attempting to. I say stupid things, I do stupid things.

Two months ago, or thereabouts, my previous journalling host crashed rather violently. Rather rashly, I joined up with a couple of others, making plots to rebuild it. Well, rebuild the service, but under a new name and new management. In the interim, I set up a forum for the old community. And boy oh boy, have I learned.

I make the wrong calls too often. I attempt to calm a situation and make it worse, and annoy the people that I want onside most. I try to rectify that, and get shot down for being inconsistent. (Which, of course, I am.)

Today has been rather a crap day. I’ve been called a fucking bitch more times than I care to count, I’ve managed to offend Colitis in real life and several others online. In the end, I’ve taken the cowards way out. I’m moving the forum to another server, leaving the administration in the hands of others. I’ll remain on the development team, but not dealing with the people.

Clearly, I have a lot to learn.

Finding a home

The Huge Pile of Boxes in the lounge of Mum’s place is now about half the size.

There is now a Huge Pile of Newspaper and Empty Cardboard Boxes in my flat. Waiting for paper collection day. Note to self: Find out when paper collection/trash day is. This will be a Good Thing to Know.

So. I’m half moved. And the stuff that isn’t yet moved, I know where it’s going. I had great fun pottering about, pulling stuff out of boxes, working out what I needed to do with it all.

However, the hilarity of the weekend – at least, the hilarity not related to me realizing I had no bog roll – was mostly related to the local branch of the Feline Tenant Brainwashing and Welcoming Committee. See, I awoke at 5.30am Sunday. Lord only knows why. So, pootled around a little, nattered on the phone to Tobermory – blessed timezones, if I should be sleeping and can’t, he’s most likely awake – and then got up and toddled round a bit, going “Meh, rain”.

My bedroom windows are at the outside groundlevel. (Basement flat.) So, I’m leaning on my window ledge. And a very enthusiastic black furry gentleman noticed my presence, came BOUNDING over to the window, issuing “It is RAINING and I am WET, lemme in!!” noises. So, one gorgeous black boy inside, lots of purry noises.

And then, he saw my Tigie (an ENORMOUS stuffed toy). And did the whole Puffball move, complete with hissing noises, and bounded out the window again. Me, I collapsed on the floor in giggles. Especially as, less than a minute later, he was sitting – at the other end of my flat – at my door going “Meer, it’s wet, lemme in!!!!”

Two hours later, Blackie had trundled off on a Catly Mission of Importance. I was poodling round the kitchen, contemplating food. The rain had since cleared and then restarted rather violently. And there was an outbreak of “MEER MEER it is RAINING, meer meer DOOROPENNOW”. A refined, but frantic, ginger beastie Wanted In Right Now, Thankye. Said ginger beastie also pottered round my flat – and also took large exceptions to the Tigie.

Made my day. I think I’m going to be happy here.

A life well lived

The last funeral I went to was over three years ago. A six-month-old baby, who succumbed to cot death. That? Was appalling. Tears and hurt and pain on all sides.

Edie’s funeral was today. And it wasn’t sad. Yes, her family will miss their Nanny, but none of us can regret her death. Her life story, most of which I knew. Her family, her friends, her husband. The faith she held for so many years, believed in so strongly that she spoke of it before her death. She’d organised her funeral herself, which I thought was nice. Had her mokopuna bring in flowers with the pallbearers, which they arranged around the coffin. No formalities, just a peaceful contented atmosphere. We smiled and laughed, and yes, there were a few tears, but we can’t really begrudge her death. She was old, and content, and tired. She’s buried, now, with her husband, happy and at peace.

As the hearse left, two of her whanau were playing saxophone. The old jazz music she’d loved all her life. It was… bizarre, having jazz playing in a house of worship, but strangely fitting for Nanny Edie.


I’m still stuck between a rock and a hard place. Listening to the funeral talk today… she believed what I’ve been taught. I’ve known that all my life. Like a terrier, she was, give her an argument and she’d not rest. Was one of the things I liked about her, even as her irascible temperament irritated me from time to time.

That indecision has practical consequences. If something happens to me, who’d care for me? Who’d ask me what I wanted, who’d stick up for what I have believed in? That came up in conversation with Tobermory today. What medical treatments I’d be willing/unwilling to accept. He brought it up, and it made me feel incredibly loved that he a) doesn’t have any personal feelings against what I’ve grown up believing and b) even if he did, he’ll support my decision anyway.

But.. do I have that faith? In anything? I’m still dithering about what I’ll do when I’ve moved. Pick up again, find a new congregation in Auckland? Step away from it all? No-one but me can help me make up my mind here. And oh, it’s hard.

Contentment

I woke, this morning, bundled in my blankets, the wrong way on the bed. Headset on the floor, computer still on, Skype showing a disconnected call.

I spent last night nattering to Tobermory. I don’t know when I went to sleep. Messaging this morning revealed that, amidst a conversation about music, I’d drifted away, and he’d woken me just enough to convince me to take off the headset, lest I get a cricked neck in my sleep.

But oh, it was good actually talkingto him again. We haven’t had the chance – I’ve been trekking all over the countryside, he’s been away doing various things. He’s 12 hours behind me, timewise, so he’s working while I’m sleeping, and vice versa. Quick conversations via cellphone and IM are never the same.

So we talked. And laughed, till our sides ached and I was crying. Music and books and people and things. His adventures at school, back when he was an innocent gamer brat, going to ‘parties’ which consisted of videogames, manga, anime, caffiene, and pizza. Him, being caught by a teacher drinking in a pub (underage), and buying the teacher a beer so that he had long enough to finish his own pint. (And being ‘punished’ with bacon sarnies for a week.) The way that religions are represented unfairly via the sound effects in comic books.

Slept so contentedly, drifting off with my Womble’s voice. He’s good for me, is Tobermory.